Alcohol in a Muslim country is very hard, but not impossible, to get.
There are bootleggers (whose real names are never mentioned) that can access some alcohol - at a fairly high price. They have risky jobs but one I have heard of has never been stopped or questioned because he dresses traditionally, has a long beard, looks devout, and rides a bicycle.
I am looking forward to my first bootlegging adventure - at the moment I am trying to find a trenchcoat, large hat, and false moustache :)
To be fair foreigners have the right to a pass that allows you to legally buy a small amount of alcohol. BUT as my work visa is still "in progress" I am not yet entitled to one of the booze passes.
What is strange is how even though I normally don't drink very much, when something is denied to you it becomes hugely important. I've had long passionate discussions with expats when everyone dreamily talks about their favourite alcoholic drink!
Monday, December 26, 2011
Etiquette
Since I have arrived in Pakistan I can count on one hand the number of times I have opened a door. There is always someone around who jumps to attention and quickly opens any door I approach. My driver refuses to let me open the car door, either getting in the car or getting out.
The only thing I am allowed to carry is my handbag. Everything else is meant to be carried for me. One day it was farcical - I had a loaf of bread and there was a tug of war between myself, my driver, and my security guard to see who had the privilege to carry it!!!
When I return to NZ I may find myself sitting in a car for several minutes before I realise that no one is going to open the door for me :(
The only thing I am allowed to carry is my handbag. Everything else is meant to be carried for me. One day it was farcical - I had a loaf of bread and there was a tug of war between myself, my driver, and my security guard to see who had the privilege to carry it!!!
When I return to NZ I may find myself sitting in a car for several minutes before I realise that no one is going to open the door for me :(
Urdu
My language ability in Urdu is slowly improving. I can now: count to 10; say hello; ask how some one is, reply that I am wel; ask for a cup of tea or glass of water; say yes/no/ok/I understand/stop/go, and you idiot. So that covers most linguistic situations!
What is touching is thatsuch a small effort garners a lot of gratitude from the locals, it is almost embarassing how a simple phrase is welcomed with surprise and joy.
What is touching is thatsuch a small effort garners a lot of gratitude from the locals, it is almost embarassing how a simple phrase is welcomed with surprise and joy.
Load Shedding
Load shedding is the lovely phrase that means "We are going to discontinue your power source with no warning".
Currently we are having daily electricity and gas outages. Electricity has been going off daily at 7am for about an hour and then off again about 12pm for another hour or two, and sometimes it goes off again around dinner time. Gas (which most houses use for hot water and cooking) is a lot more erratic and goes off at irregular but frequent times.
This all makes showering, hair drying, cooking, etc a little awkward. I have learnt to keep a torch handy.
There are literally hundereds of houses being built around where I live. I was told last week that an indefinite moratorium has been placed on hooking new houses up to the gas supply. So hundereds of houses may be completed with no proper heating for water or cooking. They can use gas bottles but these are extremely expensive and notoriously unsafe.
Of course if you grease the right palms with enough money you can probably manage to find a way around this moratorium.
Currently we are having daily electricity and gas outages. Electricity has been going off daily at 7am for about an hour and then off again about 12pm for another hour or two, and sometimes it goes off again around dinner time. Gas (which most houses use for hot water and cooking) is a lot more erratic and goes off at irregular but frequent times.
This all makes showering, hair drying, cooking, etc a little awkward. I have learnt to keep a torch handy.
There are literally hundereds of houses being built around where I live. I was told last week that an indefinite moratorium has been placed on hooking new houses up to the gas supply. So hundereds of houses may be completed with no proper heating for water or cooking. They can use gas bottles but these are extremely expensive and notoriously unsafe.
Of course if you grease the right palms with enough money you can probably manage to find a way around this moratorium.
Marriage
At a conservative estimate I would say that 99% of marriages in Pakistan are arranged.
These are usually initiated and organised by the parents of the prospective bride/groom. It is believed that a marrige sanctioned by wise parents, who know what is best for the children, will provide a happy marriage as the basis is similar family background and values and, as the whole family have a stake in the marriage, they then work hard to support the married couple. I must admit some of these points make sense to me (in theory) but how it works in reality is not always so clear cut.
The couple who are to get married may 1) meet for the first time at their wedding
2) have phone conversations before their marriage or
3) have supervised meetings before the marriage
All of this depends on the families views.
My repetitive question is (in the case of couples who do not have contact prior to the wedding) "What do they talk about when they are alone together after the wedding?" Is it 'My favourite colour is....' or 'Wasn't Great Uncle Bert embarassing at the wedding?' . . . No local person has been willing to discuss this with me.
Marriage is considered the only viable option for women and unmarried women are in a very awkward social position. I think the people I have met have put me in the 'Foreigners are weird' category, the only other option they have is that I am a woman of no intergrity!
Although marriage is expected over here (and under Islam a man can have 4 wives at once), divorce in the higher levels of society is not uncommon. Some women I know have had some pretty horrific arranged marriages but are willing for their families to try again to arrange a marriage for them, as this is the only way for them to have some social standing and independence.
This of course brings me on to the Mother-In-Law!!! The majority of Pakistani families live in large extended family homes. Upon marriage the bride enters the home of her in-laws to live and is then under the control of her mother-in-law. This can sometimes be very bad. I have wondered if the Cinderella's step-mother was from Pakistan.
Anyway marriage is tied up in family honour and family honour is very, very important. A female who is seen bringing dishonour onto the family (this can include talking to someone inappropriate, having a relationship with someone, leaving her husband, or even being the victim of rape) is subject to being sanctioned. A common practise is to throw acid onto her face, causing hideous lifelong injuries, or in some cases the girl/woman is murdered by her family. These 'honour killings' are still fairly common. The government have talked about automatically punishing family members who carry out these killings, time will tell whether there is a decline in this practise.
These are usually initiated and organised by the parents of the prospective bride/groom. It is believed that a marrige sanctioned by wise parents, who know what is best for the children, will provide a happy marriage as the basis is similar family background and values and, as the whole family have a stake in the marriage, they then work hard to support the married couple. I must admit some of these points make sense to me (in theory) but how it works in reality is not always so clear cut.
The couple who are to get married may 1) meet for the first time at their wedding
2) have phone conversations before their marriage or
3) have supervised meetings before the marriage
All of this depends on the families views.
My repetitive question is (in the case of couples who do not have contact prior to the wedding) "What do they talk about when they are alone together after the wedding?" Is it 'My favourite colour is....' or 'Wasn't Great Uncle Bert embarassing at the wedding?' . . . No local person has been willing to discuss this with me.
Marriage is considered the only viable option for women and unmarried women are in a very awkward social position. I think the people I have met have put me in the 'Foreigners are weird' category, the only other option they have is that I am a woman of no intergrity!
Although marriage is expected over here (and under Islam a man can have 4 wives at once), divorce in the higher levels of society is not uncommon. Some women I know have had some pretty horrific arranged marriages but are willing for their families to try again to arrange a marriage for them, as this is the only way for them to have some social standing and independence.
This of course brings me on to the Mother-In-Law!!! The majority of Pakistani families live in large extended family homes. Upon marriage the bride enters the home of her in-laws to live and is then under the control of her mother-in-law. This can sometimes be very bad. I have wondered if the Cinderella's step-mother was from Pakistan.
Anyway marriage is tied up in family honour and family honour is very, very important. A female who is seen bringing dishonour onto the family (this can include talking to someone inappropriate, having a relationship with someone, leaving her husband, or even being the victim of rape) is subject to being sanctioned. A common practise is to throw acid onto her face, causing hideous lifelong injuries, or in some cases the girl/woman is murdered by her family. These 'honour killings' are still fairly common. The government have talked about automatically punishing family members who carry out these killings, time will tell whether there is a decline in this practise.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Muharaam
Had previously decided not to view the Muharaam Shia parade, but, as nothinghad happened yesterday, I changed my mind and organised to go today. My driver said I would be safe if we went to one of the more minor areas, I wore black, draped myself in a shawl, stayed in the car, and we had screens up to cover the car windows. I agreed to all of this. Thirty minutes before we were due my driver rang me to say "Ma'am it is not safe". There had just been a bombing of a parade in Karachi and Lahore was now an increased security risk. So trip cancelled. Maybe next year??
Sunday, December 4, 2011
PS - Added paragraph to Flag Ceremony
However more cameras were facing us (the white tourists) than the flag ceremony. I spent a lot of time dodging cameras as we left. Shawls have a real advantage when you don't want your photo taken. Although I refused having my photo taken I did do my best visiting royalty pose and shake hands, smile, and practise my urdu on the many people who came up to gawp or offer their greetings.
Being a photo opportunity is part of the experience here. I don't enjoy it but I do enjoy the way people come up and talk, particularly those with young children - it is probably the first time they have seen a white person in real life. Being famous for my ethnic background rather than anything I've done - the easy option :)
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