Marriage

At a conservative estimate I would say that 99% of marriages in Pakistan are arranged.
These are usually initiated and organised by the parents of the prospective bride/groom. It is believed that a marrige sanctioned by wise parents, who know what is best for the children, will provide a happy marriage as the basis is similar family background and values and, as the whole family have a stake in the marriage, they then work hard to support the married couple. I must admit some of these points make sense to me (in theory) but how it works in reality is not always so clear cut.
The couple who are to get married may 1) meet for the first time at their wedding
2) have phone conversations before their marriage or
3) have supervised meetings before the marriage
All of this depends on the families views.
My repetitive question is (in the case of couples who do not have contact prior to the wedding) "What do they talk about when they are alone together after the wedding?" Is it 'My favourite colour is....' or 'Wasn't Great Uncle Bert embarassing at the wedding?' . . . No local person has been willing to discuss this with me.
Marriage is considered the only viable option for women and unmarried women are in a very awkward social position. I think the people I have met have put me in the 'Foreigners are weird' category, the only other option they have is that I am a woman of no intergrity!
Although marriage is expected over here (and under Islam a man can have 4 wives at once), divorce in the higher levels of society is not uncommon. Some women I know have had some pretty horrific arranged marriages but are willing for their families to try again to arrange a marriage for them, as this is the only way for them to have some social standing and independence.
This of course brings me on to the Mother-In-Law!!! The majority of Pakistani families live in large extended family homes. Upon marriage the bride enters the home of her in-laws to live and is then under the control of her mother-in-law. This can sometimes be very bad. I have wondered if the Cinderella's step-mother was from Pakistan.
Anyway marriage is tied up in family honour and family honour is very, very important. A female who is seen bringing dishonour onto the family (this can include talking to someone inappropriate, having a relationship with someone, leaving her husband, or even being the victim of rape) is subject to being sanctioned. A common practise is to throw acid onto her face, causing hideous lifelong injuries, or in some cases the girl/woman is murdered by her family. These 'honour killings' are still fairly common. The government have talked about automatically punishing family members who carry out these killings, time will tell whether there is a decline in this practise.