Alcohol

Alcohol in a Muslim country is very hard, but not impossible, to get.
There are bootleggers (whose real names are never mentioned) that can access some alcohol - at a fairly high price. They have risky jobs but one I have heard of has never been stopped or questioned because he dresses traditionally, has a long beard, looks devout, and rides a bicycle.
I am looking forward to my first bootlegging adventure - at the moment I am trying to find a trenchcoat, large hat, and false moustache :)
To be fair foreigners have the right to a pass that allows you to legally buy a small amount of alcohol. BUT as my work visa is still "in progress" I am not yet entitled to one of the booze passes.
What is strange is how even though I normally don't drink very much, when something is denied to you it becomes hugely important. I've had long passionate discussions with expats when everyone dreamily talks about their favourite alcoholic drink!

Etiquette

Since I have arrived in Pakistan I can count on one hand the number of times I have opened a door. There is always someone around who jumps to attention and quickly opens any door I approach. My driver refuses to let me open the car door, either getting in the car or getting out.
The only thing I am allowed to carry is my handbag. Everything else is meant to be carried for me. One day it was farcical - I had a loaf of bread and there was a tug of war between myself, my driver, and my security guard to see who had the privilege to carry it!!!
When I return to NZ I may find myself sitting in a car for several minutes before I realise that no one is going to open the door for me :(

Urdu

My language ability in Urdu is slowly improving. I can now: count to 10; say hello; ask how some one is, reply that I am wel; ask for a cup of tea or glass of water; say yes/no/ok/I understand/stop/go, and you idiot. So that covers most linguistic situations!
What is touching is thatsuch a small effort garners a lot of gratitude from the locals, it is almost embarassing how a simple phrase is welcomed with surprise and joy.

Load Shedding

Load shedding is the lovely phrase that means "We are going to discontinue your power source with no warning".
Currently we are having daily electricity and gas outages. Electricity has been going off daily at 7am for about an hour and then off again about 12pm for another hour or two, and sometimes it goes off again around dinner time. Gas (which most houses use for hot water and cooking) is a lot more erratic and goes off at irregular but frequent times.
This all makes showering, hair drying, cooking, etc a little awkward. I have learnt to keep a torch handy.
There are literally hundereds of houses being built around where I live. I was told last week that an indefinite moratorium has been placed on hooking new houses up to the gas supply. So hundereds of houses may be completed with no proper heating for water or cooking. They can use gas bottles but these are extremely expensive and notoriously unsafe.
Of course if you grease the right palms with enough money you can probably manage to find a way around this moratorium.

Marriage

At a conservative estimate I would say that 99% of marriages in Pakistan are arranged.
These are usually initiated and organised by the parents of the prospective bride/groom. It is believed that a marrige sanctioned by wise parents, who know what is best for the children, will provide a happy marriage as the basis is similar family background and values and, as the whole family have a stake in the marriage, they then work hard to support the married couple. I must admit some of these points make sense to me (in theory) but how it works in reality is not always so clear cut.
The couple who are to get married may 1) meet for the first time at their wedding
2) have phone conversations before their marriage or
3) have supervised meetings before the marriage
All of this depends on the families views.
My repetitive question is (in the case of couples who do not have contact prior to the wedding) "What do they talk about when they are alone together after the wedding?" Is it 'My favourite colour is....' or 'Wasn't Great Uncle Bert embarassing at the wedding?' . . . No local person has been willing to discuss this with me.
Marriage is considered the only viable option for women and unmarried women are in a very awkward social position. I think the people I have met have put me in the 'Foreigners are weird' category, the only other option they have is that I am a woman of no intergrity!
Although marriage is expected over here (and under Islam a man can have 4 wives at once), divorce in the higher levels of society is not uncommon. Some women I know have had some pretty horrific arranged marriages but are willing for their families to try again to arrange a marriage for them, as this is the only way for them to have some social standing and independence.
This of course brings me on to the Mother-In-Law!!! The majority of Pakistani families live in large extended family homes. Upon marriage the bride enters the home of her in-laws to live and is then under the control of her mother-in-law. This can sometimes be very bad. I have wondered if the Cinderella's step-mother was from Pakistan.
Anyway marriage is tied up in family honour and family honour is very, very important. A female who is seen bringing dishonour onto the family (this can include talking to someone inappropriate, having a relationship with someone, leaving her husband, or even being the victim of rape) is subject to being sanctioned. A common practise is to throw acid onto her face, causing hideous lifelong injuries, or in some cases the girl/woman is murdered by her family. These 'honour killings' are still fairly common. The government have talked about automatically punishing family members who carry out these killings, time will tell whether there is a decline in this practise.

Muharaam

Had previously decided not to view the Muharaam Shia parade, but, as nothinghad happened yesterday, I changed my mind and organised to go today. My driver said I would be safe if we went to one of the more minor areas, I wore black, draped myself in a shawl, stayed in the car, and we had screens up to cover the car windows. I agreed to all of this. Thirty minutes before we were due my driver rang me to say "Ma'am it is not safe". There had just been a bombing of a parade in Karachi and Lahore was now an increased security risk. So trip cancelled. Maybe next year??

PS - Added paragraph to Flag Ceremony

However more cameras were facing us (the white tourists) than the flag ceremony. I spent a lot of time dodging cameras as we left. Shawls have a real advantage when you don't want your photo taken. Although I refused having my photo taken I did do my best visiting royalty pose and shake hands, smile, and practise my urdu on the many people who came up to gawp or offer their greetings.

Being a photo opportunity is part of the experience here. I don't enjoy it but I do enjoy the way people come up and talk, particularly those with young children - it is probably the first time they have seen a white person in real life. Being famous for my ethnic background rather than anything I've done - the easy option :)

Latest Holiday

Today and tomorrow are public holidays. It is an important commemoration, for the Shia community, of the martydom of two men (most of Lahore is Sunni but there are also Shia. All are Muslim but do not intermingle much and almost never intermarry. According to the Sunni I know, the Shia are more fervent)

This holiday is a time of mourning. There are large parades with people dressed in black carrying whips and flogging themselves. I had wanted to see this and my driver had organised for me to sneak into a small area to watch, but every person I spoke to advised against this as most years there are bombings and riots. Most of my colleagues stay inside for the whole 2 days. So at the last minute I cancelled my trip. Will now watch what happens on the news.

Flag ceremony

Went to a border (with India) to watch the flag lowering ceremony. This is a daily occurance that is a faceoff between Pakistan and India. People watch, cheer, clap, jeer etc as each counrty competes to outshine, outmarch, outsneer the other country. It was a fun occasion which at times felt a bit like being at a WRR wrestling match. There was a lot of posturing, chest puffing, high kicking marching, gun aerobatics and I LOVED IT.

(PS Pakistan won the night I was there, they definitelky put on the best macho display!!)

Eid

In November there is the Muslim equivalent (in terms of holiday celebration) to Xmas. The date of is dependent on the phases of the moon and so was only finalised a few days before it happened. Eid commemorates the Bible story of Abraham being willing, on God's orderes, to sacrifice his son, but at the last minute God replaced Abraham's son with an animal. This is commerorated by people slaughtering goats and sheep. The animals (at hugely inflated prices) are bought and then slaughtered at home in the garden (which is not great when all your neighbours are doing it) and then a third of the meat is donated to the poor. So you see large groups or the poor and beggars, with plastic bags, roaming around all the neighbourhoods looking for the latest kill to take home to their family. Although this to me was bloody, messy, noisy, and smelly the city itself looked great. All the mosques, and many shops and homes, were strung with a huge number of lights. A major mosque near me was swathed in lights so that it looked like a golden waterfall. It is a time or family, sharing, and celebration.

Hospital

Went to a local government hospital. Is for those who can't afford to go to a private hospital, the preference of everyone.

The hospital was large, overcrowded and basic but cleaner than some I saw in South Africa.

I was meeting staff in the Psychiatric Ward. There was no privacy, people were in therapy and others continually walked in and interrupted with no regard to what was happening.

But was an interesting slice of society that I see very little of - women in very traditional garb, completely covered with only their eyes showing. There were a couple of women whose eyes could not be seen either as they were behind a mesh panel.

Driver

I now am the proud employer of a driver for my little 1100cc Suzuki. Being boss is not fun as there are lots of hidden extras e.g. I have to provide him with lunch and drinks. He takes me to work in the morning and then waits outside in the car all day until I finish work and then he takes me home or where ever I need to go. He must be so bored but I have nothing else for him to do. He wants to improve his English so I am going to look at buying him some English language CDs so as to give him something useful to do with his time.

The other morning on the way to work he told me "My brother motorcucle accident. he died" I was shocked and tried to be supportive but then it turned out the "he" that died was the motorcycle, his brother had a fractured elbow.

Halloween

The International Club (you need a foreign passport to join & is one of few places you can easily get alcohol) had a Halloween party. I went as a co-joined twin. Had a mannequin attached to my back and wore a 4 armed, 2 necked kaftan. Won a bottle of wine as a Highly Commended entry. It was fun although I got rid of Ethel (my twin) quickly as she was very uncomfortable. Ethel went home that night with a Dutch guy and the winner of the costume competition got 2 tickets to Thailand as a prize (sigh).

Imran Khan

I have spent the last month explaining to everyone that I am going to marry Imran Khan. This backfired a bit last week. My driver misunderstood and decided to facilitate a meeting. He said he could take me to Imran's house - I imagined having my photo taken outside the gates of his house and then running back to the car and being chased by his security guards. However Imran does not close the gates of his Lahore house and has no real security here. So my driver drove up the driveway all the way to the house and got out to speak to the staff. I was told that Imran was away but I could come back to see him the following day and then I was invited in to meet his family! I made my mumbled incoherent excuses and left quickly and gracelessly. (May pop back another day though, especially if I feel like a cup of tea)

Please Help

I have had a couple of people ask how to leave a comment on this blog, but I couldn't help as I couldn't work it out either. Can anyone give easy to follow instructions please (Stephen or Leah)????

Thank you.

Kashmir

Over night several extremely large banners have appeared on the route to work. All the banners are in reference to "freeing" Kashmir from Indian "opression".

I haven't spoken to people about Kashmir yet but the banners did make me feel uncomfortable. Who put them up and what is their plan to gain this 'freedom'???

Transport Adventure

Had a bit of an adventure tonight that I'll probably have to keep quiet about to anyone in Pakistan.

Due to a mixture of circumstances & my own stubborness I ended up at a shopping mall in a place I didn't know (and didn't know where it was in relation to my home) with night falling and no transport. So I decided to catch a rickshaw (which I had been warned about. BUT taxis are very expensive and require a minimum hour's wait), I managed to wave a rickshaw (covered in masking tape, possibly aesthetic reasons but probably to hold it together) down but knew language and haggling over the price would be a difficulty. There was a car stopped next to me so I asked the guy in there for translating help. Turns out he was an Aussie who was more interested in asking me out, which may have been flattering if he wasn't so creepy and desperate. I did manage to get a (cute) local man to help, I jumped in the rickshaw and took off into the setting sun leaving the Aussie in my wake. But after about 1/2 hour I started to wonder if the driver knew where he was going, I was becoming a bit tense - solo foreign woman in the dark, wouldn't make happy newspaper headlines. Through a prolonged series of mimes it turned out neither of us knew which way to go. The only option was to ask people on the way, including aiming for another rickshaw so as to collide so that he would stop and talk!! The directions weren't very helpful but after awhile I thought I saw a familiar landmark (although it was dark & I wasn't wearing my glasses so it was more hope than certainty). Anyway the result is I managed to lead us back home. I don't know who was more relieved, but I don't think he'll be picking up any more foreigners in a hurry :) Also think I'll stick to my driver from now on.

Bed Hopper

Two gecko's often hang out on my bedroom ceiling. I was fine with this, & even thought it was quite endearing, until one fell onto my bed and seemed inclined to stay. My antics to move it on must have looked like a Charlie Chaplin movie! But the upshot was that we have agreed to keep our distance from each other.

Temperature

Am loving autumn. The day temperatures have dropped to the early 30 degrees celsius. Lovely.

Gora

Went back to the old fort and the main mosque today with a local. He managed to finesse our way into several locked, barricaded areas. This included going below the main palace area where, at basement level, is a complete summer palace. This is where the royals would go in summer to keep cool below ground. It was absolutely beautiful, with high curved ceilings and arches, all inlaid with incredibly intricate mosaics that have kept their rich colours because they are under ground and protected from the elements.

I had quite a few people coming up just wanting to shake hands because I am a 'gora' (pakeha). Pakistan does not get tourists and so white faces are very rare. The people are all very warm and welcoming but I had to be quick on my feet to avoid all the iphone cameras trying to get a pic of me. Those who know me well know how I detest having my photo taken!!

On the topic of gora. I saw a guy the other day and pointed him out to my driver saying "Gora". He looked, shook his head and said "Pakistani". So the only thing I can surmise is that the man was an albino. That was when I realised how seeing an albino in Sth Africa was not unusual, but this was my first instance over here. Are some races more prone to albinoism???

I had a meeting today with the Deputy Director of the Pakistan Secret Service. And believe it or not I was the one in control as he was the one who needed something :) :)

Familiarity

Am starting to notice some familiar faces on my drive to work everyday. There is the woman in the bright orange clothing, with her hand-made straw broom sweeping the sides of the 6 lane highway (she's very nimble when avoiding the traffic); the old man with great posture who is riding a bicycle that is probably as old as he is, he either has skin cancer of his scalp or some strange pimentation problem; the man who dyes his hair and beard a bright, garish orange; school children (a boy and 2 girls) who walk sedately to school in their traditional attire with the girls heads and legs covered; the soldiers who stand at attention staring ahead with their guns at their sides.

Speaking of guns ...... there are lots of guns on view. There is the police and security outside every school, bank, and public building, plus some armed home security guards. Yet strangely the few guns I saw in South Africa worried me as where over here the many guns feel non-threatening, almost as if it is all a film set. It may be because over here I do not feel an underlying anger or tension. I don't know - suggestions anyone?

Makeover

TNS Beaconhouse is like working at a Miss Universe pageant - all the staff are depressingly beautiful. So this week I joined a fitness programme at the school for staff members and am looking at also starting yoga classes. If all else fails there are leaflets everywhere advertising plastic surgeons. I see myself as a wannabe Halle Berry, so may need to go tracking down a surgeon! Please feel free to contribute financially to my cause :)

Independence

Have been feeling a bit constricted. I am not allowed to walk anywhere or even wait outside for my driver - I have to wait safely & modestly inside. But the other day the man who most looks out for me was away & so I bullied the security guard into letting me go out for a walk ( was a sunny day & still light, 4pm). Was such a relief to wander off on my own but I did elict many curious looks. Probably in the future I will need to be accompanied on my walks but it was great to get 40 mins of 'normality'.

Rugby

Went to the International Club to watch the ABs game against Argentina. The club is for non-Pakistanis only and has a bar (& a swimming pool & tennis courts - but the bar is more important). Watching the rugby was a real UN affair but there were about 6 Kiwis. We were relieved but not, unfortunately, confident.

Friends in high places

Had dinner the other night at the home of a very wealthy family. Sat with a Pakistani ex-Foreign Affairs Minister discussing Pakistani politics. The circles I am now moving in !!!!

Beggars

The old gnarly issue concerning beggars has cropped up here. In South Africa I decided not to give money to beggars but to offer food (if I had some with me) or to give money to a reputable charity. However this was hard to keep in mind today when I had a boy of about 8 years begging. He had what I assumed was elephantitis - his left leg and foot were about 10 times bigger than his right side. Also was approached by a man, with no legs, who was propped on a piece of board with wheels. Saying "No" was hard. Reality and intentions do not always co-exist comforsably.

Power ToTthe People

Power shedding is a constant reality. At least 12 times a day the power goes off. If you are lucky, like I am, then your workplace and home have a generator so disruption is minimal. BUT without a generator lights, air conditioning and every appliance imaginable konks out. No air conditioning in this climate would be intolerable. I am concerned that if it's this bad during the cooler months of the year then how tough is it going to be during summer when consumption demands increase!

Traffic 02.10.11

Absolutely love the traffic system over here - or to be more accurate, what appears to be the lack of a system. The roads have: cars, motorbikes, bicycles, trucks, buses, donkey driven carts and pedestrians (even seen 2 camels). There are lanes painted on the roads but these are ignored, as is the idea of staying on the left hand side of the road! Vehicles wind through each other on any side of the road going in any direction. Have seen 5 people on one motorbike and was told that you can squeeze up to 7!!! Everything is chaotic but works, admidst lots of horn honking - everyone is so relaxed that their attitude is contagious.

My Location

I am in Lahore, in the east of Pakistan, about 30km from India. Population of the city is 10 million with about 85% of the population being Muslim.